🎭 The Bite
Headlines that could be real but shouldn't be.
Satire with teeth, aimed exclusively upward. Absurdist scenarios that illuminate real dynamics — earnings calls from companies that don't exist, describing companies that do.
- 12 min read
Company Values Poster, Annotated by Someone Who Works There
Five words on a wall in a stairwell, each one doing a specific job that has nothing to do with what it says. Plus the four values Enron printed in its final annual report, quoted exactly.
- 13 min read
Startup Announces Pivot to Whatever You Just Said
A Series D company changes its entire thesis four times in eleven months, each time to match the last sentence spoken by someone holding a checkbook. The company is invented. The mechanism is not.
- 12 min read
Project Lighthouse: A Layoff Memo, Translated Line by Line
A satirical memo from a company that doesn't exist, built entirely from techniques that do. Including the one legally required document that names who they kept — and how old everyone is.
- 11 min read
Earnings Call Transcript: NOTHING WORKS INC. (NASDAQ: NWRK), Q3 2026
A satirical earnings call from a company that does not exist, describing companies that do. Featuring record efficiency, a one-time charge occurring for the ninth consecutive quarter, and a CEO who has never used the product.