The Archive
The visual record of $BUSINESS Holdings. Corporate portraiture, offsites, headquarters, and a certain amount of material nobody has been able to justify keeping or throwing away. Catalogued because the Instrument catalogues everything — that is the one thing it has always done.
11 photographs · 4 albums
Three dimensions
CowDog, scanned
A Gaussian splat: seventy thousand oriented ellipsoids, each with its own colour and opacity, blended back to front. Not a photograph and not a mesh. Drag to rotate, scroll to zoom.
The chief executive was photographed from every side and the photographs were solved back into a cloud of seventy thousand translucent ellipsoids — a Gaussian splat. It is the only item in the archive with a volume, which raised a question about which schedule it belongs on that has not been settled.
The same scan is filed on the desktop as Asset Viewer, where it is entered in the fixed asset register as item 0001 of 0001.
Corporate
The asset
The asset. Literally the asset.
CowDog, CEO
Annual report cover, every year. The suit has never been dry-cleaned; it has been re-issued.
The costume
It was never a disguise — it was diversification.
Offsites
Catering, Q3
The entire catering budget, photographed before it was eaten. Eleven minutes elapsed.
New markets
Expansion into new markets. Very new. The addressable market is everything.
Subscriber of the year
Premium Silence subscriber of the year. Has never spoken. Cannot cancel.
One small step
One small step for a dog. One giant leap for shareholder value.
Archive
Exhibit 011
Filed under Exhibit 011. Nobody remembers what it was exhibiting.
World record
Flappy Dog. World record holder. Score: 7.
HQ
Bliss
The hill. Every business that has ever mattered was run from a room with this on the wall.
The Pasture
Headquarters. Bliss Hill, XP 2001. The lease is perpetual and nobody can find it.